Worst theoretical car-related movies:

"Leadbull" (leadbull911) 05/08/2014 at 10:53 • Filed to: oppositelock

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Please, enter your suggestions!

I'll get mine out of the way:

Another Herbie movie, in which they use a New Beetle but keep Lindsay Lohan.

(The lead photo shows Harry the Orlove Bug, in honor of our missing writer.)

crowmolly > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 10:58

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I really hope they don't botch Mad Max Fury Road. Not really on topic at all, just had to say it.

RazoE > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 10:59

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Gone in 60 seconds 2. But instead of stealing cars, Nicolas Cage has to save his brother from the mob by playing a high-stakes poker game. Plot Twist: His brother's actually trying to save Nick's life by stealing cars while he's playing the game......actually.....that doesn't sound half bad. Quick, someone get Hollywood on the phone!

jvirgs drives a Subaru > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:00

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"Neither Liked Orlove'd" staring the Toyota Corolla

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:02

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Grounded a story about a special Camry.

Leadbull > RazoE 05/08/2014 at 11:02

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That sounds like a similar plot to every Nick Cage movie, ever.

Leadbull > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/08/2014 at 11:03

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A Butterfly Effect spin-off, entitled "The Camry Effect".

Frank Grimes > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:04

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A maximum overdrive remake with Rob Ford as the semi truck.

Bullitt remake with a mustang 2 instead of 68 gt 390

blues brothers with all electric cars.

speed 3 or 4 or whatevs about camry unintended acceleration and its a major conspiracy terrorist plot.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:04

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I have trouble associating car films with the idea of "worst", even bad car movies are better than mediocre disaster movies...

at first I was gonna say "Fast and Furious: Aries K" and then GIS'd this and was like... "huh, that might not actually be so bad..."

ncasolowork2 > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:06

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Top Gear the Movie: Featuring James May as The Stig and Piers Morgan as Jeremy Clarkson

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:08

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Pulp Friction, the story of a ruined clutch.

RazoE > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:10

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Which will mean it's either a blockbuster......or it'll bomb. Either way, for some reason, I'll watch it.

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 05/08/2014 at 11:10

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Would make a great sequel Grounded, To The Ground.

Leadbull > RazoE 05/08/2014 at 11:12

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Either way, it'll be a late night TNT hit.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:16

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New Soviet Rhythm - Time of Dance

A brave modern Indian man discovers a ritual allowing time travel, and driving his brightly colored Hindustan Ambassador, travels back to the time of Brezhnev, teaching the masses to keep a flame of freedom alive through the power of dance. The extended chase scene with police Trabants through the streets of Leipzig is not to be missed.

Wait, did I say worst? I mean best. Best theoretical car-related movie.

Leadbull > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:17

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Need for Speed

Forgetful > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:17

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2 Fat 2 Furious

Gone in 60 Payments

Driven II

BoulderZ > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:20

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"In No Rush" - Documentary following Hunt's little-known season racing a Camry in circles tri-ovals.

"Driven To Work" - Sylvester Stallone is back, but retired from Formula 1 and rich, doing racing commentary for Fox Sports. This film is of him and the staff car drivers making small talk from the airport pickup to the track venue.

"The Thin Redline" - This chemistry thriller follows an industrial chemist through their titration analysis of a batch of motor oil that didn't meet spec for viscosity.

"Fast And Furious: Fargo Drifts" - Dom and company head North to help the Feds bust a gang of North Dakotans cheating on taxes by harvesting grain on border farms, making whiskey in Canada, and bringing it back across the farms in sprayer tanks to sell it as Seagram's 7 blended. Landing in January on a Sunday, our heroes pull out in their awesome drift cars, and promptly get stuck in a snow bank. The rest of the movie is them riding around on snow machines from one tiny plains town to another, trying to find a tow truck operator who works on Sunday. Eventually, they give up and just sit in a bar drinking VO, eating cheese curds, and watching the Vikings game on the NFL channel.

Leadbull > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 05/08/2014 at 11:22

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Fast and Furious 26: Where Are They Now?

Leadbull > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/08/2014 at 11:23

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Have you made a Kickstarter account yet?

otaconmutasim > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:24

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The Hunger Flames: Catching Fire

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:25

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I really should. I mean, the intersection of perverse car fandom and Bollywood has got to be bank in terms of a built in audience.

Leadbull > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 05/08/2014 at 11:27

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Basically everyone with a youtube account has seen Alluda Majaka.

Just piggyback off of that film's rampant success.

MooseKnuckles > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:29

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The Spendiferous Escapades of Pinto and Covair

webmonkees > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:31

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Two sides of the coin:

Bullit.

A remake, that is, put down the blasphemer stick. It's like a new Moon launch, you just can't reproduce the crazed ragged-edge technologies of the time. Also the Mustang.

McQueen .

It would have to be a trilogy to fit all the awesome in, and no star or film company would let them reproduce what he did as a paycheck or off-hours.

A documentary hybrid using actual footage, that could work.

PushToStart > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 11:51

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came here to say this.

I left satisfied.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 12:55

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Spoon II > RazoE 05/08/2014 at 14:04

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I'm not going to lie, I enjoy pretty much all of his movies. If his goal is to entertain, he succeeds! Traditional acting be damned!